it’s not always shiny

I’ve had a big long think today. I am an incredible supporter of work within the performing arts to support outside causes. I have mates that support and work amongst many causes and sometimes it does feel like we need to do a little more walking of the talk in all honesty and I include myself in that critique.

I was discussing with my partner (a musician) today, the fact that occasionally he may see a post of a fellow equally talented musician that has got some gig or is working in some show/performance that he may have liked to have gotten a shot at. This might happen to him once every couple of weeks or so.

Are we REALLY caring about mental health? Because as an unemployed actor I read an average of 6 or 7 posts a day from people who are employed and most of them will keep talking about the same show the entire time they are in it…some days they may post twice…

It’s tricky because the producers put pressure on to share and be cute and candid and fun-loving but although the fan base in your friend’s list might be loving it your actual colleagues/friends are in stomach turning pain. Wondering where their next gig is coming, how they’ll finance next year’s cabaret, where on earth a whole new year of graduates is going to fit into the industry while they still haven’t gotten a gig.

I’m supposed to put up smiley posts about my day being fun and enlightening while I actually just cringe about the fact that wine o’clock is getting earlier every day. I do things. I teach. I get by.

I don’t know what the answer is and I don’t have recommendations. I am one ‘mature female’ actor that probably already comes across too kooky to cast even though I would happily be a ‘mama’ in Fiddler or a nun in SOM and I didn’t even get a spot to audition for Dame Julie… (yes personally sad about that. I’ve definitely got housekeeper potential) but we need more places to be honest about how we’re feeling and what constructive things we can do to help. A chat group is fine but a constructed play reading night/new musical theatre reading/workshop would be better.

I want to start walking my talk.

So,

I want

YOU (no me, I meant ME)

to stop making things all about you (you are NOT going to get this if you don’t fucking understand me)

I have a life (can you LET me speak?)

that (please)

may (pleASE??)

have (PLEASE??)

importance (…)

I didn’t mean to say that…

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Filed under actingasacareer, narcissism, theatreindustry

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